To read more about keeping safe online, please go to Cover your tracks online - Women’s Aid.
Are you worried about your behaviour?
It takes a lot of strength to look at your behaviour and begin to realise that it is becoming abusive. If you really want to change, you can - abuse is a learned behaviour and you can un-learn it, but you will only achieve this if you can:
- Accept responsibility for the abuse. You can’t blame your actions on your partner or on drink, drugs, stress or work
- Accept that the abuse comes from your desire to control your partner. Understand the ways you control that person and why you behave like that
- Realise that you have a choice. You choose to be violent or abusive, and you can choose not to be
- Accept that your partner has a right to live their own life without being dominated and controlled
- Stop using your anger to control your partner
- Get help from professionals
If you aren’t ready to contact a support service but want to learn more about what abuse looks like, you can use any of these links to find out more:
Folkestone & Hythe District Council: Domestic abuse
Women’s Aid: What is domestic abuse?
NHS: Domestic violence and abuse
Local support
The Kent Community Domestic Abuse Programme (CDAP) is a rolling programme of sessions designed to help men who feel their behaviour towards their partner has been, or is still, abusive.
Call CDAP East Kent on 07955 039703 or email kentcdap@gmail.com.
National support
Respect is the national association for abusive partners and family members who want to change. They provide anonymous and confidential advice and support to help people stop being abusive.
Call the Respect Phoneline on 0808 802 4040 or email info@respectphoneline.org.uk. Opening times 10am to 5pm Monday to Friday.